It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I would fuck him just for his dog
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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