How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
