did you get engaged???
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
