so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
