I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
