Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
