So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
