i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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