there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
