He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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