I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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