every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
