you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
