Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
