im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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