i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
