is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
