Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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