I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
