Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
