Buhtt sex?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
