Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
