i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
