my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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