he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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