Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i need some magic done to my vagina
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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