i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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