i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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