I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i out mim tonsoeep
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