VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
