his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it was like eating out sand paper
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
