I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
