i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
