Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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