"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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