i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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