the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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