worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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