Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
