No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
