I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
