I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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