I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
