We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
