so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
