There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
