Where did you get a picture of my penis
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
