you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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