I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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