I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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